I managed to spend seven years in the military without ever having to sleep outdoors. Looking back now this seems ridiculously improbable for anyone to accomplish. Occasionally I feel I missed out on a few good experiences but I also know I avoided a few bad ones. Here’s how it all worked out.

I went through Basic Training in 1999 when it was a requirement to spend one night in a tent as a part of the Field Training Exercise. This two day extravaganza was intended to expose us to the “extreme” conditions of the field. By late afternoon of the first day we were just gearing up for the highly anticipated war game when a freak thunderstorm popped up out of no where. Training rules strictly forbid any outdoor activities when there is lightning within five miles. That night we enjoyed hot showers and nice cool beds. I didn’t realize at the time, but this did in fact fully prepare me for any extreme conditions I would ever see in the Air Force.

Deployments are another way to made to sleep outdoors and a very common occurrence in the Air Force. I managed to pick a job that deployed less than average. My luck extended to being assigned to a unit that never deployed. However, I was tasked to augment another base’s deployment to Saudi Arabia, but someone else volunteered at the last minute and I never had to go.

My closest call came in the beginning of 2003. My unit was tasked for one person to go to the Middle East. It was a really crappy escort duty lasting 90 days scheduled for spring. No one volunteered. To avoid being voluntold, I stepped up going against my firm conviction to never volunteer for anything.

One of the likely destinations was Baghdad. As things were heating up in Iraq, they told me to expect to be there at least 120 days. In early March they told me it would be more like 180. On March 20th we invaded Iraq. April came and I hadn’t heard anything, just to “be ready”. May came and went. In June I started asking around and the only answer I ever got was “they probably only want essential personnel over there right now”. That was good enough for me, so I never asked again.