Alright, so. Sky diving. I must say that it is something I haven't really thought too much about doing. In my case, it would probably be at a bar with my buddies. We'd dare each other until one said yes, then we wouldn't let it go. But I digress.

Cover page 20/20: You made a very step by step and well thought out explanation of what you have gone through to rewrite the work. Very professional.

Story 50/60: It could have been a little more exciting. Throw a car chase in there or some sort of XXX scene. In other words, I think your story has all the essential elements to arrest audience attention, however, at the same time, you need to experiment more with rhetorical devices that might emphasize and amplify the elements (example, here) that would really, really articulate your storyline to readerly attention. Overall though, it was a fun story.

Remixing 20/20: You obviously put a lot of effort into the remixing of others works. You summoned up all of your creative talent to produce good, usable advice to your peers. For example....

and also....

the best illlustration of this occurs here....

Total: 90/100

Steven, I think Austin (and indirectly, all of us) could benefit from your reading if you followed up on my revisions with some examples. Remember, it's all the same sort of practice! :)

-ShareRiff