Vinyl Definition By Farrah Brake

Graded by Regina

The first definition that came down the line was short. I felt reading it that there was an awesome idea behind the story I saw, but when she tried to explain it didn't come across as clearly as she intended. It was missing a vinyl's origination, its impact on the industry and a smoother explanation of how it affected her. 1st vinyl idea

In the second installment, Farrah elaborates on her idea. Here she defines a vinyl, gives a history, shows an impact on politics/life and difference they made in her life. I like the changes she made here. It is easy to read and because the piece contains a little history, a little love story, a little music, anyone can get something from it, the audience could be almost anyone. vinyl part 2

The final piece is great. Immediately my attention is taken to the picture of 'Touch' that was added, it personalizes the story by giving the audience a visual. Here I also found an expanded definition, which elaborated on the general definition in part two. Overall what I found in the third version, was expansion on the early idea. It is smoother, planned and delivered. I get a big kick out of the personal story that gave birth to this definition. This story has come far from the small anecdote it once was. vinyls at large

Among some verbiage that could be improve(there is always room for improvement) and maybe some sentence restructuring, I think this definition has come far. It now appeals to a broad audience, it is easy to read, and has a little bit of everything. It feels as though she took her time to research and think this out.

score= 18/20

Farrah

Regina