Afram,

I graded you on the following four categories:

Grammar: The grammar in this piece was grossly inadequate and I know that you are capable of producing a higher quality piece of writing than this. The list of grammatical mistakes is endless. First, the main character, is his name Vinny or Vinnie because you spelled it both ways in your definition. Also you refer to it as a “realty show” instead of "reality show" several times. Unless Vinny (Vinnie) is a realitor this needs to be fixed. Also "a" should be replaced with "an" and then replaced with than a couple of times in this piece. At least read over before you turn it in. 1/5 points- Mercy is responsible for the 1 point.

Investigation:Your investigation is sub-par as well. I can assume that the information gathered must come from watching the show but how do I (the reader) know that your information is correct. You need to site facts, perhaps adding a link to the show or quotes from others who agree with your stance. When you said that you watched a show that talked about Entourage's reality significance you should cite or link that. You are receiving 2/5 points for investigation, not that I don't believe your facts but they are not cited. 2 points for being a loyal viewer of the show.

Purpose:Afram I gather the purpose is to argue the genre of the show as reality as opposed to comedy. This is a fine purpose however all you have given is opinion with vague and empty arguments. Your argument/definition needs some substance. 3/5 for purpose

Improvement: I did not see any attempt at improvement so I am left to give you a 0/5.

Total: 6/20

Remember that you can remix this and earn all of these points back. I felt like you rushed this assignment and did it 30 minutes before class started. I think you have a decent idea but you need to put a whole lot more work into it.

-Ted

I am reduing this -Afram