| 
View
 

s o that is how John defines

Page history last edited by PBworks 16 years, 6 months ago

BRAVO.

 

This is a fantastic piece. The linkage is relevant and interesting. The light tone contrasts the fairly heavy subject. The structure utilizes just enough breaks to make the gravity of the content digestible.

 

I would have liked a bit more transition from the fidelity definition in the first sentence to the idea of rapid information growth - perhaps a sentence here and there to restate the logical sequence. I found myself having to tie my own threads to connect some of the digression.

 

throw in a little grammar check:

 

Though humanity has begun to empirically understand reality and question authority, fidelity's role -in- as an agent of control has only become more diverse

 

Out of 20 I say 19.

Comments (0)

You don't have permission to comment on this page.